In #I.M.English auto-estima pensamentos da madrugada pessoal texto

This is me

Recently I'm feeling like I need to change. I've been living under a barrier for long time, and I want to change. I want to break this barrier and show the world the real me, you know? I grew up thinking that I needed to please everyone around, even when I didn't agreed with something or liked something.

I was having a conversation with some friends, and they were explaning that everyone of us uses masks 24/7. As the time passes, those masks turn into a part of who we are, and we get to a point that we can't separate the real us and the mask that we chose to wear. Those masks are a harness that we wear to protect our weakness.

For example, I am the kind of person that appears calm, and patient. Everyone thinks that I never get angry, or explode for some reason, and that I'm always smilling all day long. This is one of the masks that I choose to wear. It means that yes, I am impatient, I get angry or nervous, but I choose to not demonstrate this all the time.

Another mask that I wear, most of times, is the strenght one. People think that I don't have moments of weakness, that I don't cry, and that I'm always strong and right about my feelings. The truth is that I'm really sensitive and I have a lot of insecurities.

I'm not saying that those masks make me a false person, they're more like a barrier that we use, and most of times they're things that we wanted to be or to have. I'd like to be more confident, stronger in some times, calm in others... get it?

I'm on a constantly search for the real me. My difficulty is to let my real self get out of me, demonstrate what I have inside is really hard. I'm always thinking about what others will think about me, mainly if those people are close to me. Maybe that's why this text is in english, not in portuguese, so not everyone I know will read it.

So, this is part of who I am. A person who have a lot of insecurities, weaknesses, anxieties, but choose to look calm and confident just to see if someday those things turn into reality. I have problems, I cry for no reason (and for many reasons), and that's ok to be like that. I'm working on my vulnerability, and I wish that you can embrance them too. Because is not wrong to be vulnerable, and there is nothing wrong with who you are 

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